Authority appealing to, and exercised in, love

It is noteworthy that the apostle Paul, though he has the authority to command Philemon to receive Onesimus back, chooses not to do it. He would rather appeal to his conscience and have him rightly perceive his obligations as a Christian to a fellow Christian to do what is right.

I think that that is very, very noteworthy. I have spent the last few years doing some thinking through the implications of authority in various relationships. I have tried to think that through in terms of being a pastor and having some measure of authority. The church has authority. I am the senior teaching elder in terms of position and there is a measure of authority that goes with that. I am also in a position of authority as the head of a family. I have a wife who is under submission to me, according to Ephesians 5:1–33. I have children who are under my authority. However, I have found myself over the years becoming increasingly reluctant to ever exercise authority in the sense of giving commands. I never give commands or orders. I have people who are working under me throughout the whole structure of the church, but I rarely give a direct order. I am very, very reluctant.

It is very interesting what the apostle Paul does here. He has the authority, but he does not use it. He makes an appeal, instead, to one who is a fellow believer in Christ. He makes an appeal to him to do the thing that is right, rather than getting a begrudging obedience out of him, or a reluctant response to an apostolic command. He wants to appeal to him to do the right thing.

I think that it sometimes helps to think about the various ways in which we are related to each other. I am not hesitant to give a dog commands and take a newspaper and enforce the command, but when dealing with a child, my authority is of a different nature. I am not dealing with an animal, but I am dealing with one who is made in the image of God. I still have authority and I will still give commands, but it is done differently. One exercises that authority in a different way. The session [board of elected elders] has authority over the church. How does it exercise that authority? Well, very rarely by way of command. We rarely give orders and demand the submission of the congregation. How does a husband lead a wife? Is it by giving orders, by pounding on the table saying, I am the head of the house and I am demanding that you listen? You are not wise if you do things that way. You could say, Well, I have that authority, and point to chapter and verse, but is that right?

Do you command a wife the way you command a dog? Or do you command your wife in the way that you command a child? According to the context, the command and authority is exercised one way in the military, another way in the political realm and another way in the family, in different ways toward your child or your wife and of course the dog. The context means that in each case you interpret those things differently, and you exercise that authority differently. And here the apostle Paul has the authority, but he chooses not to use it. Why not? Well, because this is a fellow believer.

He is reluctant to issue a command, and I think that is something from which we ought to learn: that hesitancy about using authority. I think that it is used on very rare occasions. There are times when as a session, we need to ask individuals within the church to come and talk to us. I think that it is best when we first ask them, that we just ask them, knowing that if they refuse, we have to go back and summons them and require that they come. The church does have authority; it has the keys of the Kingdom of God; it has the power of binding and loosing. It has real authority and it is meant to exercise that authority. There are times when the church delivers one over to the Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his soul might be saved - using the apostle Paul's language in 1 Corinthians 5:1–13. But the appeal here that he is going to make is not going to be to his authority. The appeal is an appeal to love and an appeal to conscience - do the right thing, do the thing that love requires of you as a believer in communion with a fellow believer.¹

Terry L. Johnson