Forgiveness and debt of love

Paul says that Philemon is the kind of person who was under obligation then to God's grace, to the same grace by which he was forgiven. Do you realize that this is true of each of us if we believe? We are debtors to mercy; we have received forgiveness— and now there is a debt of obligation. Paul says to let your only obligation be the debt of love, the debt of mercy, the debt of grace. Every Christian who has been forgiven and believes has that obligation. And so he says to Philemon, by what means will you, a forgiven sinner, mete out justice? It is a major issue for us. People have sinned against us and in many cases their sin has cost us dearly, and more than is good for us, we think about how they have hurt us. People do not just speak harshly in the heat of the moment, they deliberately, in cold blood seek to destroy our reputation. When that happens to you, it hurts. Their selfishness breaks up our families, and in some cases they do physical harm to us or to those that we love. It hurts to be sinned against. Sometimes, to confront the transgressor, even to see their face, is a cause of deep inward pain. How then can we ever forgive? Well, the logic here is that we realize that we are sinners who have been forgiven, and we are under a debt to forgive and return. As Paul writes to Philemon, saying more than about him owing his forgiveness to Paul's ministry, he challenges him to reflect on his own position as one forgiven. John MacArthur puts it this way: that Onesimus owes Philemon a material debt, but Philemon owes to Paul a spiritual debt. Onesimus owes Philemon a temporal debt, but Philemon owes to Paul an eternal debt. Paul had shared the gospel with him and led him to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus —a debt he could never repay.

I find that some Christians hold that we should only forgive someone when they have suitably repented. Let me say a couple of things about that. We do need to distinguish between, and sometimes trust has to be re-earned. It is not that you have not forgiven me, maybe you have, but you may forgive genuinely and yet say that now we need to rebuild the trust. That is not a denial of forgiveness. Moreover, repentance and forgiveness should be linked together. Jesus told his disciples that if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, even if that happens seven times in a day (Luke 17:3–4). There Jesus is linking repentance and forgiveness, and yet, the sinner’s repentance is not the basis of the Christian’s forgiveness of that sinner. Yes, the two should go together, but this repentance of the person who sinned is not the basis or the ground of our forgiving them. Jesus made this point in another parable, about a servant who was brought before a king. He had accumulated a debt of 10,000 talents. That was more than anybody could repay. And so the king says, we are going to sell you into slavery, and your wife and your children as well, then I will get back at least that much of what you owe me. But the man begged for mercy and the king had mercy on him and he forgave the debt that the servant owed. Shortly afterwards the king hears about that same servant; that he has a servant owing him one hundred denarii. That is nothing compared to the amount that he owed. But rather than showing mercy to his servant, he refuses mercy and he has his servant cast into prison for this debt. When the king heard that, he brought him back, and here is what he said: you wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me, should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? (Matthew 18:32–33). And the king had him sent to prison. Usually Jesus’ parables have a punch line, and here it is: so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart (Matthew 18:35). Jesus taught us in the Lord's Prayer, forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors. He is not saying the way to be forgiven is to forgive; we would never be forgiven because we can only truly forgive after we are saved, because it is the result of God's grace in our lives.

Notice the necessary connection. Paul puts it this way in Colossians 3:13: as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. There is the call to Christian forgiveness: - because we are forgiven, therefore we forgive. It really is not true that we forgive others as we have been forgiven, because we will never forgive anyone to the extent that we have been forgiven. The sins we have committed against God, just by the glory of his person, makes them far more heinous, not to mention the thousands of them. And yet, he, though he is a holy God and we are vile sinners, he forgives us. It is not true that we will ever forgive anyone as he has forgiven us, but we are certainly to do so because he has. That is what Paul is saying. We have been forgiven by God through the blood of his Son. I like to put it this way: that forgiveness on a Christian’s part is an act of worship to the God who has forgiven us, and an expression of our heartfelt thanksgiving because he has forgiven our sin. Paul actually makes it a matter of obedience: confident of your obedience, I write to you (Philemon 1:21). Now the obedience he mentions is not to himself, but rather to the Lord for the forgiveness Philemon received by believing Paul's gospel message. William Hendriksen writes, this obedience to which the apostle refers is gospel obedience. It is harkening (listening) to the demands of God as expressed in the gospel. It's exactly the gospel as proclaimed by Christ, that demands of those who greatly benefited through mercy, which show mercy and kindness to others. So, Paul is confident that Philemon will make gospel-sense of the situation. In fact, he is sure that you will do even more than I say (Philemon 1:21); and he shows us that genuine forgiveness, which leads to acts of genuine love and kindness. We do not forgive and then immediately turn our backs. That is not the nature of true forgiveness; rather there is genuine goodwill.

Most scholars argue that Paul, when he says you will do more, he means that Onesimus will not only be forgiven, but he will be set free, released from his slavery. But it might be more than that, it might be different. William Henderson explained some other blessings: maybe Onesimus will be given free time to study the Scriptures and to grow as a young minister to do evangelistic work. Maybe Philemon will review his entire way of relating to his servants in light of the gospel. Well, we, likewise, are not merely to forgive and then walk away, we forgive and then seek to bless. Why? Because that is what God has done for us. He is the King and we are the guilty servants. He has shown us mercy, he has showered us with love and has taken us under his care. He says, I put your sins behind My back. We ask how he can do that? It is because of the blood of Jesus. And because of the blood of Jesus, we are called to do the same.¹

Richard D. Phillips