Costly Forgiveness

Think about Philemon, put yourself in his shoes for just a moment. He has been wronged by Onesimus. Onesimus has stolen from him; he has run away from him. Onesimus is indebted to him. and in order for Philemon to forgive, that debt must be canceled. Brothers and sisters, this is simply the way that forgiveness works; it is costly. Often, I think  that this very reality is what inhibits our willingness to forgive. Have you ever been badly wronged? Have you ever been treated so badly that you have actually let the words fly across your lips, I will never forgive that person? Think about what it is that you are saying. What you are saying is that you are not willing to incur the debt that this person owes you. You are not willing to write cancel, paid in full on that IOU that you have been carrying around ever since you were wronged. Letting go of an offense, canceling the debt of someone who has hurt you, is difficult. Yet that is exactly what Paul is urging Philemon to do. He is urging him to forgive Onesimus because forgiving one another is the very heart of the gospel. Forgiveness is what we receive because of Jesus Christ, and at the heart of our faith is having been forgiven, to live in forgiveness.

Paul says, I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ (Philemon 1:6). Often this verse has been pointed to as an encouragement to evangelize, to take the gospel to unbelievers with the understanding that as you do this, then you will come to grow more and more in the awareness of what God has done for you in Jesus. No doubt that is true; that happens. The more you share your faith, the more that faith becomes important to you and vital in your thinking and understanding. But I do not think that Paul is talking primarily here about evangelism. I think he is talking about the faith working in showing forgiveness to a brother. As Philemon exercises his faith in Christ and cancels the debt that he is owed, then he will come to experience more and more of just what his sin has incurred, what his sin against God deserves. After they are reconciled and forgiveness has been granted, Philemon will appreciate more of what God has done for him in Christ.

Brothers and sisters, this is always the way it works: that when we have difficulty forgiving, we need to stop and consider what it is for which we have been forgiven. The truth is that nobody has sinned against you or me in ways that even come close to how we have sinned against God, and yet God, in Jesus Christ, has forgiven us. You know, we pray that in the prayer that the Lord Jesus has taught us, but I wonder if you really think about it: forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. It is a dangerous prayer -you can not pray that prayer sincerely and cling to unforgiveness. God's forgiveness of us in Christ is the very foundation upon which we stand to forgive others. This is why Paul commands us to -be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another in Christ, as God, in Christ, forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). Forgive, as you have been forgiven. Our sins against God incurred a debt that we could not possibly pay, and God in his love and grace sent his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to pay the debt that he did not owe. And as he has treated us, brothers and sisters, so we are to treat one another. So I just want to ask you, Whom do you need to forgive today? Who is it? Maybe it seems like an impossible task to you. Maybe you have buried it and kept it so far out of your conscious awareness for so long that it is easy not to think about it. But I want to call on you today, to remember Jesus Christ and to think about his life and death on your behalf, that canceled your debt of sin against God - and having been forgiven, live in forgiveness, extend forgiveness to others in his Name.

I have tried to imagine what it must have been like for Onesimus on that long journey from Rome back to Colossae; what it must have been like when he showed up at Philemon's house, a house he was very familiar with, knocking on the door, waiting for the answer, then, finally, standing face to face with his human master, as a guilty thief and a runaway slave. What must it have been like when he looked into Philemon's eyes, knowing what he deserved, knowing what has happened to other slaves in his situation? He can not make up for what he has done. He can not repay what he owes, and all that he has in his hand is a letter from the apostle Paul. What he needs is grace. What he needs is mercy and forgiveness, and all he has is the testimony and promise of payment from another. Well, that is precisely how each one of us must stand in coming to God. We come with nothing. We cannot make up for what we have done. We cannot atone for our sins. We cannot give to God that which he requires of us. The only provision that will satisfy in that situation is a crucified and risen Savior. Augustus Toplady puts it like this in a hymn:

nothing in my hands I bring,
simply to Thy cross I cling;
naked, come to Thee for dress;
helpless, look to Thee for grace.
Foul I to the fountain fly;
wash me Savior, or I die.

Have you ever felt yourself that way before God? Have you ever thought about yourself standing before God to give an account of your life? Friend, God has brought you this word today to consider from his Word this message, this message of grace and mercy and forgiveness that is found in Jesus Christ.¹

Tom Ascol