Exercising charity to one another

When it comes to assessing others, Christians should labour, Paul says, to mind our own business. In Romans 14:4 he said this: Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. Now, in that case, the issue concerned the controversy in the church over the eating of foods that had been consecrated to idols. And Paul’s answer was that, you know, it really is a matter of individual conscience. On the one hand, yes, there are demons and there are evil powers, but actually, there is really nothing going on here. And so it is a matter for individual prudence and actual individual consciences before God. We are not to judge one another.

And the same is true today in any number of matters that are like that—they are matters of individual judgment. There is no obvious sin involved. There is no clear command that obviously applies to it. What am I talking about? Styles of dress, what kind of books you read, what movies you go to attend, attitudes toward the moderate use of alcohol, the choice of recreational activities—we could add any number of examples like this. And when it is a matter of individual conscience, and there is no obvious sin being committed, well, Christians should learn, Paul says, to exercise charity to one another, and should cultivate a wise love that knows when to keep its mouth shut and respect the privacy of fellow believers.

Now, Paul’s warning does not mean that we are to mind our own business when it comes to the actual needs of fellow believers. That is not an excuse to neglect them when it comes to suffering, sickness, poverty, and affliction. In those cases, our brothers’ and sisters’ concerns are, in fact, our business. We are to meet those needs zealously. And the same is true for Christians who are falling away from the faith or have fallen into open and flagrant sin. That is a very different matter—when there is an obvious breach of God’s law. In that case, Christians are to confront one another in a loving and wise way: Exhort one another every day, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13).

So here is another good resolution for us: Lord, let me love, and let me learn to—how about this—let me lead a quiet life. That is not on many New Year’s resolution lists: Lord, let me not cause a fuss. Let me not draw attention to myself. Let me learn to be mild and a person who is easy to be around. I do not want to be a compromiser in any way, but let me learn to have a quiet love that will be a blessing to others around me.¹

Richard D. Phillips