Paul appeals gently to Philemon: accordingly, though I'm bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you; I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner, also for Christ Jesus (Philemon 1:8–9). He wants Philemon to do what he ought to do, not merely as a matter of duty, but he wants it to be from the heart. He wants Philemon to feel the power of the gospel of God's grace working in him, and, motivated by that grace, to forgive his runaway slave. After all, Philemon himself is deeply loved by Paul; they are brothers, and Paul calls upon that relationship in his appeal. The love that they share is all because of Jesus Christ, because of his life and death and resurrection, for both Philemon and Paul. They love one another because they have first been loved. Brothers and sisters, this is a vitally important point that we must constantly remind ourselves of: that as loved ones, we are called to love.
As people who have been loved, we are commissioned to live in love. Do you remember what Jesus said to his disciples on that night before he was arrested and then executed on the cross? He is in the upper room with them before he is betrayed, and in John 13:1–38 he says, a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. He said that by this, all people will know that you are my disciples—if you have love for one another.
We need to consider Christ’s command to love as we have been loved; stop and think about what it means to love as you have been loved. How has Jesus Christ loved you? Where does his love stop for you? How far was he willing to go for you? Jesus says that that is the standard. That is the measure. That is how you are to love one another. That is how Paul wants Philemon to relate to Onesimus. Onesimus had robbed him and created difficulties for him, but Paul wants him to relate to Onesimus with sincere Christian love. In order to do that, Philemon is going to have to forgive him and not treat him as he deserves to be treated.1
Tom Ascol
8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required,